Student parents need to find a balance

(originally published in the Weal - September 2019)

Going back to school as a parent presents unique challenges and stresses, and without support, those stresses can become overwhelming.

Amanda Metcalfe has been upgrading at SAIT, and is looking forward to entering the Diagnostic Medical Sonography program. 

She also has two daughters, ages 6 and 8.

“It's always about trying to find time to study and make sure my kids are not feeling neglected,” she said in an interview on July 30.

“When I do find more time for the kids, my schoolwork takes a dive. I haven't found a successful balance yet.”

Those challenges are not unique to Metcalfe.

Aiofe Freeman-Cruz, a phycologist with SAIT student development and counselling services, said that student parents face similar problems to their childless classmates, but those problems can be more extreme.

“There are more demands in terms of child care and child rearing.”

“Becoming a student means adding a whole other role.” Freeman-Cruz adds. “If you’re used to being a worker and parent, but now you’re a worker and parent and student, it’s just adding another complexity.”

That complexity can affect, not only school work but relationships with your fellow students, due to different priorities at different stages of life.

“You have an added element of chaos in your life,” said Freeman-Cruz.

Metcalfe agreed, but saw that different perspective as a positive. This is her second time attending post-secondary and she said that her motivation and focus has changed.

“I have two reasons, walking around, to remind me to do my best every day.”

That doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges specific to attending SAIT as a parent. When asked about what supports are available on campus, Freeman-Cruz’s answer was simple.
“There’s not much.”

The lack of child care on campus has been an issue for many years, even though studies have been done and progress made, showing that students and faculty support the initiative.

SAITSA President, Ryan Morstad, notes that the challenges to getting on campus child care are not always simple to fix.

“The main one, is the space. We don’t have enough room for clubs right now, SAIT tells us they don’t have enough room for offices, and child care requires a lot of space,” he said in an interview on July 30. “It just doesn’t seem to exist right now.”

In 2003, research showed that childcare on campus would require 3600 square feet and 18 staff members to support 75 children.

SAITSA is proposing an early childhood learning centre model, like the one used at Bow Valley College.

He also sees child care as a recruitment tool.

“If you’re a parent and you see a school has a daycare, you’re probably going to choose that school.”

That is the issue for many parents. We want to be involved and excel at school but without supports, it becomes difficult to balance all the demands that come with being both a student and a parent.

Freeman-Cruz has advice for those childless students, who want to help their classmates find that balance.

“Just try to be empathetic,” she said. “There is a danger in other students seeing children as an excuse, but parents tend to be hard on themselves in terms of getting everything done.”

She adds one important thing to keep in mind.

“Taking care of yourself is first priority.”